I'm not really pretending to be someone else. But--I choose a different avatar depending on my mood and/or what I want to do. Lily is my responsible (ha!) avatar--she's the one with the property, and ran the business, and has things she's supposed to do. But if I'm in a cranky mood, I would choose another avatar, so I could act out and use her as a release valve.
The funny thing about choosing the different avatars, is that I behave or respond a little differently when I am one rather than the other. Recently Lily got an IM from a very dear friend, asking if I wanted to hang out with him. I adore this man, but I had some things to do, so his flirtations went unanswered. Later that night though, I was wearing my play Alt, and he IM'd me again, and I melted and immediately succumbed to his words. He spoke exactly the same way, but this girl had no commitments, and nowhere she was supposed to be. She is basically a "pleasure bot," and behaves as such. It's not a conscious decision of mine to do this, but it's like slipping into a mindset when putting on the avatar.
Recently I created a male avatar to see what that's like. I have a few friends who have created male Alts for various reasons, and some of them seem like men, some seem like the person underneath, and some seem like they're just doing it as a lark. My guy is pretty middle of the road. I still don't know who he is yet. All I know so far is that he's bland. Perhaps I just don't know how to act like a guy. When I was setting up my husband's avatar, I would tell girls they "look good in them drawers." Hardly the thing an actual guy would say.
The bad thing is that I find that I sort of channel my brother, when I'm the guy. When I go out as him, and my friends go out as their male avatars, I have the urge to call them asshole or pussy. I have no idea why--perhaps I should ask my therapist. There has to be a reason that this hostility comes out. I don't dislike men. But I guess my male rolemodels are pricks: my dad, and the oldest of my three brothers. Maybe it's that old adage about becoming what you fear most. I'm going to try and figure this guy out, though. Oh, and just to be clear, I am not deceiving any women about my gender. I will chat with them, but if they seem "interested," I tell them that I'm really a girl. Honestly, though, girls don't seem interested in him, so I think I've got nothing to worry about.
Posts
